Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login
About Deviant You'd better be alone.Female/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 14 Years
Needs Core Membership
Statistics 148 Deviations 5,580 Comments 20,622 Pageviews

Newest Deviations

Dead Man Words
Two weeks dreaming about my dead father has finally got to me.
He is not dead but I left him in the bathtub for three days and he is surely dead by now.
We drag his body. My mother and I carry him back and fourth through the dim hall.
We do not know where to go. He is dead and saying my name but my mother screams. No.
His body is settling, she says. Ignore his words. I’m sorry.
They are not words, just sounds, air pockets of gas. He does not say your name, she says.
But he keeps talking and talking and there is an ink drawing of me dead on his shirt pocket.
He is afraid it has scared me away, but how can he say? He has been dead for three days.
I am dead in the ink picture over his heart. He knows I am dead and he is crying.
I am not surprised, I am dead to him. The picture is not what is pushing me away.
It’s the talking, talking. Dead man words I’ve never heard before. He is not alive.
My mother hums and cooks dinner. She is used to the dead man talking. She is not afr
:iconlesseroflindsey:lesseroflindsey 0 1
train riding.
an older couple
      floral print
two musicians
black suit
black tie black
instrument cases
and the vomit
left by the hobo
:iconlesseroflindsey:lesseroflindsey 0 4
I'll take three.
The water prickes my frozen toes like tiny sewing needles, ready to hem the dry cracks in my skin. Tippy toes, go up on the tippy toes. My scalp is raised so close to the shower head that I imagine the tiniest hairs being singed. The smoke would turn into steam and find comfort inside of my pores. Desperate to stop this disgusting process, I began to drown my pores in soap; ripping off every dead cell on my body. After the pores came the disgusting dead hair hanging past my eyes. Washing becomes religion; only more habitual, more than Sunday. After I'm done I decide to lay on the bathtub floor and find pleasure in gaping hole between my legs.  Thrusting and shaking, my body lies. For what seems hours I sprawl my body here. Right before I feel the urge to explode, I notice a fallen hair or extra baggage ouch; all to keep m y mind off of pleasure. I just lie and say it happened and move on with the rest of my life. Maybe I just don't know what pleasure is.
:iconlesseroflindsey:lesseroflindsey 0 13
I just want to
I came here,
expecting you all to be gone.
I forgot the world goes on without me
I don't want to rethink everything I've ever done in my life.
but i can't help but wonder...
when i took my last breath and jumped off this 4 story...umm.. book,
I thought the cover slammed shut
and you were all pressed between the pages.
I was my main character, all the extras walked off the set right after me.
I was the moon, and you the smallest stars.
I was the punchline to you, you silly funny joke you.
I feel like I've died, and come back to see you got over it months ago.
That's what happens when people die, you know. It is. They die and we forget about them. Every once in a while, we will remember, and feel proud of ourselves
yes, i see it now. because I've been gone so long
and i forgot all of you
but i came back because I remembered for just one moment.
and I am proud of it
so I wrote it in a poem.
:iconlesseroflindsey:lesseroflindsey 2 15
Me, Myself, and I
I'd like to take this time to be
completely honest with you.
and be completely  
honest with myself.
I'd like to make some incision into
        my chest
crack my ribs,
and be completely open with you.
Now that you can see all
of what's inside of me,
everything I hide from me
and everyone else.
I should ask:
How do you feel?
How does it make you feel?
Tell me,
How do I feel?
I should ask:
What do you see?
or maybe
How do you look?
Tell me,
How do you look all inside of me?
It would be pretty cliche and
the root of all
teenage poetry
to say under my ribs  my
heart is tangled up.
With every letter
of your
And all of my blood,
is a mirrored reflection of
all of
your fucking
How cliche!
I don't want to be like everyone else
I don't want to be like everyone else
I don't want to be like  everyone else
I don't fucking want to be in love
like everyone else.
I don't want to write abo
:iconlesseroflindsey:lesseroflindsey 7 17
Hundreds of our boys
with strength and confidence.
Thinking, " We can do anything."
"Soldiers can do anything."
With the power to save themselves
through the cold steel and ammunition.
"We've got protection. We have artillery!"
Hundreds of soldiers
Falling,   those casualties,
Oh! Fall down you casualties!
Hundreds !
to hundred   ,
to tens and to fives....
to one.
to one.
To one lone soldier.
Looking around.....
"...Sergeant? ................Lieutenant?"
Talking into the proof! radio,
"Backup! Bring Backup!"
He drops his weapon.
And  throws his unarmed hands into the air.
"Lone Soldiers can not fight this war.
That is what we have armies for!
No!     I can not fight this war.

Was that reality that just hit him? Or a
:iconlesseroflindsey:lesseroflindsey 7 26
+OH MY GOD+ by lesseroflindsey +OH MY GOD+ :iconlesseroflindsey:lesseroflindsey 3 11
Ballerina Toes.
She tiptoed so fragile across the hallway. Her feet moved rhythmically to the songs that played inside her head.
Everyone just gave up to easily. You all just lost hope. So, like any other human under these circumstances, she just gave up. But it's okay, it's all okay.
Her heart skipped a beat when the alarm went off, but the buzz calmed her nerves after a few minutes. She looked to the left, moved to the right. She warned you.
The laced curtains sway back and forth, making like some cheap black and white film. Frustrated, she ties the strings of the cloth on the sides and let the sun shine in.
The world is just too dark.
On the street, the cars pass by and the puddles shrink into a weak mirror. She smiles a lot.
She dances so graceful to the bath and tugs on the chain beneath the steaming water. The thought of failing crosses her mind. She decides to strike the match away from the water, just in case. The sulfur stings her eyes and forces her to blink furiously. Some salty solution fa
:iconlesseroflindsey:lesseroflindsey 8 24
Face Masks, and what not.
This city collapses with destruction
it's inhabitants are choking
on their own black lungs.
The survivors just cough.
and point fingers.
After all,
We could blame the pollution.
or the cigarettes we smoke.
Or even blame the doctors,
for not warning us to wear
.                                    face
.                                             masks.
to filter out the secrets  we breathe.
and the lies we tell.
:iconlesseroflindsey:lesseroflindsey 4 28
Take less lesseroflindsey by lesseroflindsey Take less lesseroflindsey :iconlesseroflindsey:lesseroflindsey 7 48
Mature content
Mental Ward Pt. 2 :iconlesseroflindsey:lesseroflindsey 9 33
Shutup and Savelives.revisited
I saw a ten car pile up  and when I drove by
I thought I'd see you sitting inside
one of those burning cars.
More dead than alive.
Leave it to you, to be walking by
curious of who lived and who died.
And not even notice          the bodies at your feet.
[we can blame lack of knowledge on the heat]
Or just your stupidity.
You stopped at the corner of the street
--------stopped and sighed at the defeat
of every innocent man, and thought.
I should have been the passenger seat.
I know I would deserve it,
but honey you couldn't talk.
I've been known to fall sometimes
and you've been known to push me off.
[so everything is Your Fault]?
You looked into those burning flames,
and met my scorching eyes,
you just shrugged and walked on by..  [with no surprise.]
You would be watching me...
instead of saving lives.
:iconlesseroflindsey:lesseroflindsey 3 30
Catch for us the foxes by lesseroflindsey Catch for us the foxes :iconlesseroflindsey:lesseroflindsey 1 21
Don't be SILLY
You thought I was dying?
I swear I had never been more alive.
When you saw me stop breathing,
it was the impact
of his glory.
He takes my breath away.
You thought I was crazy?
I promise you, I wasn't
When you saw me speaking,
was with me
Covering me.
You thought I fell?
Need I assure you, I did no such thing.
When you saw me crying,
on my knees.
I was not falling.
I was kneeling.
:iconlesseroflindsey:lesseroflindsey 3 28
I drove by each red light
It's getting so cold that
when I start my car,
I can see my breath.
And every word that falls out of my lips,
/                                                       clings to the windshield.
And my defrost  gets rid of all the ice.
                                                       .But not your name.
:iconlesseroflindsey:lesseroflindsey 2 30
In a shell of I nut. Innuendo.
There's something about,
slicing my finger open,
that makes me smile.
Because I know, the sympathy will
overtake the pain of the open wound.
And I really shouldn't tell you that,
but I don't care.
I should also tell you,
I loved holding you in my arms.
And watching you sleep.
In. My. Arms.
I shouldn't say that, but it's true.
I found that my best hobby
is lying to the check out lady.
Because I will never see her again.
And she doesn't care what I say.
Because in the next hour and a half,
she is focused on forgetting everything she has learned.
Why not make myself sound normal?
Candles will not stay lit when the wind blows,
which is just poetic way to say
life goes on without you.
It's a sad thing to think  about.
And I've been thinking.
When I say I love you,
It's really just an innuendo
I want to fuck your brains out.
and I want you to remember me,
the next time you are getting your brains fucked out.
I hope you forget I said that.
I know this is choppy, and not even
:iconlesseroflindsey:lesseroflindsey 17 46


Unexpected Places by theDIZZYedge Unexpected Places :iconthedizzyedge:theDIZZYedge 22 19
board games and gas mileage
At the supermarket
When you were trying to decide
Between roasted peanuts or sugar coated
I ran to your car
That you so temptingly left the keys in
And drove on the interstate
All the way to South Dakota
Mt. Rushmore spotted me
And invited me up
For some coffee
And a quick game of Monoply
Thomas Jefferson
Made a promise
That he would stay forever
Saying that he had grown quite attatched
It was that fine remark
That made me dig out his nose
Climb up
And become more mature
You\'re still trying to decide
Between roasted or sugar
While i\'m trying to adjust
To you not being here for me
Driving so far away
Hasn\'t helped me
In getting passed
Your hotel loaded boardwalk
the fake paper money
in the backseat
just isn\'t enough
to pay the fees.
:iconsilentscream:silentscream 1 9
Her technique
Controls me;
Holds me.
She's essentially the most beautiful leaf
to crash and land
on my soft shoulder
And I simply
want to hold her.
Your fear is ego-driven regarding
the love placed from
His heart to that of
His brother's;
His lover's.
In a world where soul mates are
And spouses are
We ask love to hide.
:iconmissingthewar:missingthewar 2 5
Angry Lesbian
lesbian for five hundred
yes please fuck me yes please,
i think the world is a huge vagina
and I'd like to feast on this  thanksgiving day/
chinese men have specialties
asian men are such a tease
strip strip strip chicken grease!
and german max makes me say please
to fuch him hard, and suck him good
hump hump lovely lady max
oh no! mojo, I've started my period
red, flow, red, flow, red
I cannot bandage because the pee won't flow
vagina-aid, come quick!
(or just a really big dick)
i need a condom vagina face
kendra donaldon
...............fucks pete and pete
and grow up to be pn   the movies, slacker
freckle, freckle snow day@
holy shit, lindseys gay
"let's get laid!" - monte
I uck chicks when I listen to ashanti
so does chuck norris
who de who, i shit chuck norris hit in my wildet dream of fucking duck
o, in the end, i say I'll take angry lesbian for 500 alex
:iconsilentscream:silentscream 1 11
backseat driver
He has legs like parentheses.
   - holding the words
of my
       aching thighs
    - gazelle runner
yellow jacketed
             forced to return.
    - kick in the teeth
elemental fury
clean, wet whiskers
He has legs like parentheses
every time
I catch him looking
       his eyes scream
:icontranslucentwings:TranslucentWings 22 44
my_anti_drug by Greendaylvr311 my_anti_drug :icongreendaylvr311:Greendaylvr311 1 7 cunt. by ashesburnedpink cunt. :iconashesburnedpink:ashesburnedpink 5 3 uniqueness 3 by suzi9mm uniqueness 3 :iconsuzi9mm:suzi9mm 1,105 285
calendars and the kids
she pushed a nail into the
drywall and hung her calendar, a perfect
glassy grid that now
sweats off the long months
past from the space between the window
and the refrigerator. with the first
threads of snow crawling
out from their clouds i am opening
the photo albums and she is
asking why. and every glossed face is
another expired summer sun
and that rigid skyline whispers back
in slow and careful reminders:
this one is the reason
i don't wear socks, this one is
why every morning i slip
a watch around my skinny wrist, and why
i cross streets without looking.
and she doesn't want to
hear and so our city is silent.
:iconyourotherleft:yourotherleft 2 7
we will by andthenhesaid we will :iconandthenhesaid:andthenhesaid 4 3 someone's watching by andthenhesaid someone's watching :iconandthenhesaid:andthenhesaid 1 4 cloud tickler by CourtneyBrooke cloud tickler :iconcourtneybrooke:CourtneyBrooke 48 20 you know. by ilikerustyspoons you know. :iconilikerustyspoons:ilikerustyspoons 1 124



You'd better be alone.
United States
Current Residence: Illinois
Favourite genre of music: /alternative/indie/emotional/worship/slow rock/
Favourite photographer: suzi9mm
Favourite style of art: vector
Personal Quote: Trust me, I know double sex-graham wise.

goodbye number 2

Sun Jul 31, 2005, 6:53 PM
I feel stupid because I used to be so hardcore deviantart and I bought a subscription and now I don't use it.
OH well.
I'm pretty much leaving deviantart. I don't know where I'm going to be, but I'll go where life takes me. I've got to keep moving on. Like the song Break Away. No fear for those who care. I will be around. If you want anything note me. I will try to stay in touch. msn- aim- lesseroflindsey
I wish you all the best of luck with your writing and art.
Goodbye and I love you.


Add a Comment:
KendyJean Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2006
I was just reading old journals on here. It made me miss you alot.
silentscream Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2006
aw, that is such a pleasant suprise. thank you for reminding me of something i didn't even notice losing.

love you.
babzhu Featured By Owner Aug 17, 2006
You've been watching me the longest, i just checked my list thing. :) I don't use deviantart much now either.
raintherain Featured By Owner May 7, 2006
i miss you
cafezero Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2006
Merciful-Lestat Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2006
Hey long time no talk!
missingthewar Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2006
Cause I'm missing the waaaar.
Add a Comment: